a new beginning

Dear love..........

2012-12-12T01:44:00.005+08:00

I'm back!

2010-10-12T21:27:00.003+08:00

Iam sooooooooooooooo tempted to write about the proposal here..
Good news should be shared!
Right??
It's the sweeeeeeetest proposal story EVER!
hahhaa!
Actually i just wanna brag la, nothing more than that.
hahahahhahahaha!
Will ask Eddy for permission to blog about the proposal.
wish me luck!!!

psssst: I MISS BLOGGING!!

the one with nothing

2010-07-19T08:59:00.002+08:00

I used to love writing.
But now, i get so empty..
There is no inspiration to write anymore.
Maybe in future, I will write again..
Maybe not.
I really don't know.

the one when you went away for a week

2010-06-10T11:21:00.005+08:00

It's been raining since you left me
now I'm drowning in the flood
you see I've always been a fighter
but without you I give up

Eddy has been on reservist since last Monday and will only be back on Friday, if lucky.
And it’s Thursday.
I’ve whined and whined to Eddy about his lack of communication this past few days and he tried to make me understand.
I guess I wasn’t in the mood to hear his explanations so I resorted to do what I do best: sulk.
One of the things that he hates most is me, sulking.
We argued until wee hours in the morning and ta-dah!
I received a call from him when I was about to get ready for work.
:))
I'm not sure if he calls because he just wants to shut me up or he really understood my position.
Well, I admit he pampers me too much but THIS i won't budge.
I can’t see any reason for him not to call or SMS me during the day, no matter how buzy he is in camp.
I don’t like the feeling of neglect by my own boyfriend.
I know that it is not on purpose that he chooses to call me only after 11.30pm for the past few days but nothing could make me understand that he is sooooooo buzy to the point that he could not call or SMS me during the day.
I'm not asking for the world.
Just an SMS or call to know that no matter how buzy he is, he still thinks of me.
That's not asking for too much what, right?
It just doesn’t make any sense.
Thank you for putting in effort to call me in the morning, baby.
You have no idea how much it means to me.

Anyways… I was being exceptionally emotional yesterday that I re-read every single email that we have sent to each other. More than 500 emails were exchanged and I’ve actually compiled Eddy’s parting phrases of some of the emails.

The common ones are:
• Love,
• Nak berak,
• Sleepy head,
• I love you,
• Muahks,
• Best regards, (??!!!! That’s only because that was a default in his email)

The grateful ones are:
• Luckiest Guy on Earth,
• Lucky to have the Best, (ehem! ;))
• The Luckiest BF,

The sweet ones are:
• Your life companion,
• Until the day the ocean doesn't touch the sand,
• The only one who truly loves you,
• No one else but you Nurul Huda,
• Kuang2 and Poo2 Dad, (Kuang2 and Poo2 were our goldfishes..)

The crazy ones are:
• Dah Korek telinga tapi masih pekak =(,
• Your BF is crappy, but he loves you because you’re crappy too =)),
• Your Buang terbiat BF,
• Victoria’s Secret, I mean NuruLL’s Love, ;p
• The person who loves to irritate you,

And I noticed a pattern with him..

When he is sad he will go:
• ,
• :(,

When he is mad he will go:
• …,

But the most annoying thing about my boyfriend is that he loves to be better than me:

When I said:
• You’re cheese in my cheese fries,
He said:
• You’re my Chilli Sauce to my McSpicy,

When I said:
• Bluek,
He said:
• Winks,

When I said:
• Xoxo,
He said:
• XOXOXO,

Now I miss him so much already.
:((
Come home soon, my love...
*blows kisses*

the one with so much random

2010-06-07T15:34:00.002+08:00

Work has been sooooo super duper buzy lately, I can't even stop to breathe!
Peak period is here to stay and I can forsee that I will OT every week from now.
-_____-
Oh, I've signed with the devil on 1 Jun 2010.
I will officially be a permanent staff on 11 Jun 2010.
hurray.
I'm more excited for my gratutity money though. hehehe.
and my performance bonus.
and my organization bonus.
and my other increment.
and my other bonuses in store.
=D

I'm not sure how many people might have already known that I'm going Paris with Eddy.
It's his birthday/anniversary gift from me.. XD
Since his bday(29 Jul) will be on the 1st day of our trip and our anniversary(8 Aug) will be the last day of the trip.
:))
Isn't that soooo romantic??
*dances along to romantic music*
I'm not going with him alone though.
hahahaha.
His mom, Kak Lynn, Abang Shahrin and little Shahzad Eeman will be following as well!
We will all be staying over at Cik Ham's place at Saint Vrain.
But I'm making it possible that Eddy and I travel the whole day just the two of us.
Eddy thinks it's not possible but I don't care.
i don't mind getting lost in the city of ROMANCE....
*melts*
Anyways, thats 2 months to go..

So, I need to work my ass off this 2 months so that they can work without me during my vacation.

I've LOTS to update.
-my recent tiff with Shera.
-Universal Studios Singapore
-many many dates with many many pretty people!
But I'm so lost on where to start so I will end here.
haha.

psst. I'm on twitter now. I will shamelessly put it out there to FOLLOW ME at so_nurull

*blows kisses*

the one when I couldn't take it anymore.

2010-05-28T17:14:00.000+08:00

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
Over the same damn thing

the one with Lucky April!

2010-04-30T09:14:00.002+08:00

A little update on my life:

Birthday!
- Princess Academy was excruciatingly fun!
- Went to the Pixar Exhibition and had steamboat dinner at home. Mummy made me rainbow cupcakes!
- Surprise Chalet celebration from my <3 and friends...
- Birthday celebration with <3 and his family

I've been buzy with work and life.
but im grateful.
:)

the one with your 24th.

2010-04-20T00:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Love,

There's alot of things I understand in this world. And there are many more that I don't.
But you're here with me, and I know I'm not alone.
There are places full of colours, there are places grey sometimes.
But you're always there, to colour mine.
Some fights are as long as weeks, some as short as hours. Never have I doubt,
that its for the best of us.
There are times where I fly, there are times when I fall.
You held my hand tight, pull me up, giving your very all.

You complete me.
Like a missing piece of puzzle.
Like beautiful words to my harmony.
Like my i to the phone. =)
Like my angel to my gloomy world.

To the love of my life, Nurul Huda. Every little thing you have done for me has always been for mine or our own good. And I thank you for giving more than taking. I'm truly blessed to be able to share my thoughts and feelings about anything in life with you. You make me believe that love is real. And I never knew what love means "Until The Day I Met You."

You have showered me with love, dedication and gifts. And it don't matter if I'm a guy but u never fail to buy me flowers too. And that itself has never happened in my entire life "Until The Day I Met You".

Today is another Beautiful Birthday. And I thank god (Alhamdulillah) that I get to spend it with you now and forever in the future. I Eddy Chua have never been happier in my life "Until The Day I Met You".

To love you, protect and make you smile is my goal on life. I may not have the strongest words of prayers for you, but I have the strongest yet the weakest heart to love you. And It never happened, "Until The Day I Met you".

===================================================================
Baby, you are the one and all that I love. I wish you a beautiful birthday. May it be blesssed with joy and laughter, peace and love. I want you to remember that I will be by your side in everything you choose in life. Go for your dreams, and I'll stay by you just like you've always been for me. And I hope you love your gift. You deserve everything in the world cos you the Best GF ever. =)

PS: You're my very own Princess Huda

Forever & Always,
Eddy Chua

the one with all the record

2010-04-15T21:07:00.007+08:00

I could follow you to the beginning
Just to relive the start
Maybe then we'd remember to slow down
At all of our favorite parts

Less than 2 years ago, Fuzz'Ny and Ed'RuLL went to watch the movie, Record.
It started slow at first... building its way up to choke you with fear!
I was extremely scared watching the cameramen running for their lives.
This movie is a little like the Blair Witch Project...
Eddy kept everyone at the edge of their seats, screaming at the actors to move away.
o.O
Poor Aini was always shocked by his screamings.
It was really unsettling to watch helplessly as the victims get brutally killed and all the sound effects = Eddy screaming to the movie screen wasn't helping. AT ALL.

Well, just last week we went to watch Record 2 and boy, was it worse!
This time, it did not even start slow! (maybe because we came in 5 mins late. haha)
It was a continuation of the first movie and I really felt like I was grabbed by the throat all throughout the movie. Eddy was holding the nachos and I was so afraid that nachos will fall on my lap. hahhaa. A total roller coaster ride, this one!!

Well... after the movie, Aini was sooooo kind to take me on a ride on her new vespa!
:) Thanks darling! You were a wonderful rider and I'm soooooo proud of you!!!

Well, I want MORE RIDES PLEASE!!!
;p

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!
THE CLAAAAWWWW...
You have been CHOSEN!
hehehhehe..
Can't wait to go to the Pixar Exbition with loooove.

5 days till my birthday.
:(
Can I not grow up, pretty please on my knees?
*bats eyelashes*

The one with Aini's 20th birthday again.

2010-04-02T11:58:00.008+08:00

When you call my name it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I want to take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there

Aini has always been the one with great ideas for surprises.
After my last birthday surprise, I wanted to return the favour..
She had been there for me all through my ups and very very low downs and I will forever be grateful.

So I planned her 23rd birthday midnight surprise with lots of looooove!
:)

Since I'm not able to do all of this on my own, I've called in her boyfriend, Fuzzy, to help out.
Eddy was on night shift so he could not lend me a hand on this...
:(
Fuzzy and I decorated the playground near her home with lots of candles and balloons.
I proceeded on to stick a note on her door to follow the arrows directing to the playground.
I did the arrows on the cement floor with coloured chalks and I pasted some papers with arrows on the wall as well..

My idea was perfect.
I was to knock on her door loudly and hide.
So when she or any of her family members open the door, they could see the note to follow the arrows... and she will follow the instructions and ta-dah!
She can see the beautiful romantic setting we had set for her..

BUT noooooo....
obviously my plan wasn't perfect.
Her younger brother came home around the time we we finishing up and when he saw the note on their door, he freaked out and called out to Aini who freaked out as well!
(Seriously, babe. All you could have done was to follow the arrows!)
She was convinced that some psycho was stalking her!
Her younger brother and younger sister came down with her armed with a small scissors to check and there you have it!
A surprise from Fuzzy and I.
-_____- She brought the army down to protect her.
What a scaredy-cat!!
pfft.

They were SHOCKED.

The decorated playground.

The mandatory birthday song.

The cake eating session

The lovely couple..
Thanks for helping with the surprise, Fuzzy and Aini, I hope you like our surprise...

Loveeeee you, babe!
*blows kisses*

the one with the perfect weekend getaway

2010-04-01T22:46:00.000+08:00

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

My favourite day with my favourite boy.
:)
What could be more perfect?

the one with my mom

2010-03-29T11:31:00.003+08:00

My mom has been annoying me lately.
She thinks that I am treating our home like some kind of a hotel and that I come back and out as I please.
and when I do come home and tell her that I'm not in the mood to eat, she will nag about how I never liked her food and that she will not be cooking for me anymore.
Yet, every time I come home, she will be telling me she left me some food to eat.

She will be telling me to make my bed before going off to work and every time I don't, she will be screaming on the phone on how I treat her like a maid and that she will not make my bed for me.
Yet, every time I come home, my bed will be made.

And when I come home early, I will spend my time surfing the net in my room, with the door closed. She would open the door a few times, trying to make small talks with me and I will sound so disinterested that she said that I've grown up to be so arrogant for my own good and she plans not to chat me up anymore.
Yet, every time I come home early and spend my time resting in my own room, with the door closed, she would still open the door a few times.
"Have you eaten yet? I left you something to eat on the stove."
"How's work today?"
"Mak went to blablablablablabla."

My mum never gives up on me.
No matter how much I annoy her.
I love you mummy.
I'm sorry I haven't been a good enough daughter.

the one with steps in resolving petty conflict

2010-03-25T16:19:00.003+08:00

I can’t belive what you said to me
Last night when we were alone
You threw your hands up
Baby you gave up, you gave up

Okay so, Eddy and I are back on track.
Here are our ‘must have’ requirements before we get our misunderstanding settled:

1) Start a screaming session on how we don’t understand each other. This would involve, hanging up the phone and calling back 53972 times all through the night.

2) The next day would involve the cold shoulder treatment for 12 – 24 hours, depending on how trivial the fight is about.

3) I would be the one giving in, (male ego alert!) asking Eddy why he did not contact me for the whole day. *cue river of tears*

4) Eddy would apologize for being so harsh and proceed on in enlightening me on his rationale and his side of the story on repeat mode.

5) I would butt in about my rationale and my side of the story on repeat mode.

6) Eddy would insist that he is right and I would insist that he listens to me.

7) By the end of the day we had resolved the misunderstanding by simply laughing it all off and saying our misses.

Well, I know our relationship is not perfect but you can’t learn anything from being perfect, can you? That is why the most valuable thing you can make is a mistake. ;p

We live, made some mistakes, learn from them and move on.

the one with all the confusion

2010-03-19T09:50:00.001+08:00

To be honest, I’m so confused.
I don’t know what I want in life, I don’t even know what I want right now.
All I know is that I’m hurting so much inside that it’s eating me,
and one day,
there won’t be anymore of me left.
:(

But even with all the hurt,
I feel so blessed to have the greatest friends ever.
love you guys...
*hugs*

the one with HER

2010-03-18T12:53:00.004+08:00

I’m guilty of not updating my blog often.
First of all, no one reads this blog anymore, including my bf.
Second of all, I tried to blog about something but nothing comes to mind.
Third of all, Facebook and Tumblr have been doing all the updating of my life for me.
This space is quite redundant.

But since no one reads this blog anymore, I’m gonna let my feelings go free here.

It is fine with me that my boyfriend has girl friends.
It is fine with me.
Heck, I have guy friends too!
It is fine with me that she calls my boyfriend or texts him whenever.
It is fine with me if she wants to have dinner with my boyfriend.
I’m okay with that.
It's okay that this girl hangs out with his cousins or his friends when I'm not around before.
because, you all know that I have a curfew right?
But tell me something.
Am I over reacting to feel that it is INAPPROPRIATE for his girl friend to accompany him to HIS HOUSE and meet his parents and his nephew?
He told me that she did not come to his house, she just waited outside.
When he told me this, I FLIPPED.
Don't get me wrong. it's not that I don't like her.
I hung out with her a few times with Eddy before and they are platonic.
BUT why would she want to accompany MY boyfriend to HIS HOUSE?
they ate at tampines, go back to his house at simei and went all the way back again to tampines.
His parents were there!
I mean what would his parents think?
Nurul is not there but its okay, some other girl can accompany my son go back home to take his stuffs??
Oh, because she is meeting her friends after that and she has some time to kill.
But this has gone BEYOND inappropriate.
She now constantly writes on MY boyfriend’s wall.
At first it was the little things like answering questions from random friends for him.
then it’s adding comments to show that she knows him a whole lot more.
Then it’s thanks for the ride!
Then it’s hey buddy, thanks for the call & thanks for making me laugh to forget the pain @ the end. march ok! we all lepak..

My best friend asked me how I could stand someone doing that to my boyfriend.
It didn’t bother me at first.
But now it’s more and more frequent to the point that SHE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!
What really irks me the most is that she said something about replacing me to watch a movie with my boyfriend because I don’t want to go???
And
she said she is demoted to number 2??
I mean WTFFFFFF!
Since when has she been in number 1??
And my best boyfriend in the world thinks it is no big deal.
His girl friend said this kind of things in MY wall and he thinks it’s no big deal.
She is driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!
And my boyfriend’s reaction to the whole situation is DRIVING ME CRAZIER!!!!
"If it is important enough to you, you will find a way. If it is not, you will find an excuse"
and you know what is my boyfriends BIG DEAL IS.
He thinks I need to take anger management classes.

ARGH!!!!!!
tell me I'm not crazy, people.

the one with all the love in the world.

2010-02-23T16:32:00.003+08:00

And everything I have in this world,
and all that I'll every be,
it could all fall down around me,
just as long as I have you right here by me.

the one with same old me.

2010-02-12T16:16:00.003+08:00

I feel like I'm always the one to start the arguments.
I'm sorry I'm such a complicated person.
I know right now the silence may be suffocating but I feel that the words could be worse.

the one with Eash's wedding

2010-02-03T11:33:00.006+08:00

I know this post is long overdued…… 2 months overdue!
But I still want to blog about it anyways because Aishah was my best friend.
Even though we have drifted apart, I’m so glad to be a part of the happiest moment in her life; that is to be wedded to the love of her life.

Well, I’ve known Aishah for a loooong period of time… best friends since we were 13.
Sure we bonded and drifted apart, bonded and drifted apart, bonded and drifted apart again.
But I always remember her as someone who has the same common interests as me.
We both love to read, we have the same taste in music…
Aishah even made a quiz for our best friend of 4 in secondary school and she and I have the most similar answers!

This pic was like in 2005?

2005 pic

2006 pic

2006 pic

2007 pic

Hahaha. How kental were we!
Now that we are in another phase of our lives, she is one of the first to be happily married to her one and only.
I wonder who will be the next in line…. Lol.

Congratulations to the happy couple!
She deserves all the happiness she has right now and more.
*hugs*
I pray that both of you have your happily ever after.
Insya-allah.

There is something about weddings that I hate now.
The common question.
So when is your turn?
-_____-

the own with all the waiting is getting on my nerves.

2010-02-01T19:28:00.003+08:00

Do you want to know what irks me the most?
People who make me wait.

I’m not unreasonable.
I would have forgiven you if you give me a call or sms telling me you would be late because of so and so reason and by what time you are able to come.
I will then expect you to arrive at the time that YOU have clearly told me you would the second time around.
But if you dare NOT tell me anything and expecting me to wait for you, please EXPECT me not to be there.
And it’s worse IF YOU EXPECT ME TO WAIT AND DO NOT GIVE ME A TIMELINE.
I do not tolerate this type of barbaric behavior.
pfft.
Believe me when I say I will make you wait for me the next time around.
I'm a bitch like that.

the one with the love compatibility

2010-01-26T14:32:00.002+08:00

I'm born on Apr 20, a cusp on Aries and Taurus...
so both I see la.
hahahaha.

Aries & Leo Romantic Compatibility

When Aries and Leo come together in a love affair, the sparks will fly! Both are Fire Signs, passionate and dynamic, with a healthy love of sportsmanship and competition. There is a lot of action in this relationship. Both Signs want to be the boss and problems can arise when their equally-large egos get in the way. These partners have genuine admiration and respect for each other, but they need to learn to take turns commanding and giving orders -- even when they're only choosing a movie at the video store!

This partnership is all about fiery passion, domination and who's on top -- and when! Both Signs can be impatient and proud. Leo likes to be adored and their egos to be stroked, services which easily-bored Aries may not want to provide. Aries may also be bothered by Leo's flirtatious nature -- but this relationship is always exciting. Despite their sometimes noisy differences, Aries often looks to Leo as a guide or counselor. Leo is the Lion and, with Leo, Aries can be the lamb. As in the myth (The Lion and the Lamb), any differences between these two can be overcome. Both Signs are usually respected by others and it's important that this respect exists within the relationship as well.

Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Leo is ruled by the Sun. Both are masculine energy archetypes, and together they make a good combination -- they understand each other because they're coming from the same place. The Sun is about the self and Mars is about aggressive energy, so they're highly compatible and can make a powerful team.

Both Aries and Leo are Fire Signs. This tends to be a very heated and passionate relationship. When it's good it's very, very good, but when it's bad it's all about loud arguments and damaged egos. In this partnership there's always competition as to who's in charge. Since a love relationship shouldn't be about power, this can become a problem. Both of these Signs have boundless energy, so both will always be on the go. Although they may disagree often, their differences of opinion don't last long -- Aries is too busy moving on to the next challenge to hold a grudge. Leo needs to remember not to be resentful if their Aries lover doesn't show them enough respect.

Aries is a Cardinal Sign and Leo is a Fixed Sign. Aries gives Leo the assertiveness to charge ahead and take chances, while Leo can help teach Aries to stabilize and follow things through. Aries may sometimes hurt Leo's feelings by saying something hurtful without thinking. Conversely, Aries may be irritated by Leo's bossy nature and tendency to sulk. But they're both loyal and care about each other deeply, and when they can understand there doesn't have to be a boss, their relationship can be exciting bliss.

What's the best aspect of the Aries-Leo relationship? The mutual admiration both Signs share for one another. With Aries as the initiator and Leo as the one who follows through, they both have their integral niche within the partnership. Their mutual energy and passion makes theirs a dynamic relationship.

Taurus & Leo Romantic Compatibility

When Taurus and Leo come together in a love affair, they can be a great couple because they know how to stroke one another's egos and love to have their own stroked! They have similar needs: Taurus needs plenty of affection, to be loved and cherished, while Leo likes compliments and wants to be adored and admired. They're both extremely loyal and possessive lovers. Since they have such similar desires, they can generally provide for one another's needs quite well.

These two Signs both love status and possessions. They prize physical comfort and luxury; Leo is often flamboyant about attentions and gift-giving, which will greatly please Taurus, who loves the most traditional forms of courtship. Though they can work together quite well, it's not all roses between these two; both Signs are very stubborn and must work hard to understand and accept one another.

Taurus is ruled by the Planet Venus (Love and Money) and Leo is ruled by the Sun (Self). The Sun radiates warmth and light; Leo indeed radiates this kind of energy and enthusiasm. Venus is about love, beauty and luxury. This combination of masculine and feminine energy helps these two Signs admire and sustain one another. As a matter of fact, Venus is never more than 48 degrees from the Sun, so they belong close together! The Sun represents life and Venus represents love; as long as they are careful to understand each other, their combination is a positive one.

Taurus is an Earth Sign and Leo is a Fire Sign. They are both ambitious but in quite different ways. Leo longs for fame and fortune, while Taurus strives for security and stability in life and love. Since both these Signs expect to be the boss, they may tend to battle for domination. During arguments, Taurus abhors conceding a point, seeing it as acceptance of domination -- unless they see that it's the practical course. Their battles can be fierce and epic, but as long as both of them can be reassured that the relationship is important to their partner, things will go more smoothly.

Taurus and Leo are both Fixed Signs. This means they're both stubborn; once they make up their minds about something, it takes a lot to get them to change it. That's why their arguments can get so intense -- both of them truly believe they're right and that theirs is the only right way to look at an issue! They also both tend to shy away from change; they like to get things settled and then let them continue on as is indefinitely -- even if something could be improved. If they decide that they want their love relationship to stay, almost nothing will convince them to leave their partner. This is good for the stability of the relationship but can be bad if the relationship is destructive or inhibitive.

What's the best aspect of the Taurus-Leo relationship? Their mutual admiration. Both Signs have very powerful personalities, so neither will dominate the other -- no matter how hard they try! Others see them as an excellent match as they share the commitment to fulfilling their goals.

formspring.me

2010-01-19T17:21:00.001+08:00

Do you believe in angels?

Of course I do!

Where'd you find out about formspring.me?

erm.... from my friends who have tumblrs and facebook...
I find this quite interesting so I think I might have a shot at it.

If you could be on the cover of any magazine, which would you choose?

Hmm.... I would want to be on Seventeen magazine!
US version.
;p only because I'm a teenager at heart.
hehehehe!

Ask me anything

the one with the cruel world

2010-01-18T10:42:00.004+08:00

I still believe in miracles and second chances.

the one with having such a wonderful friend at work.

2010-01-15T15:14:00.003+08:00

Thank you for the paddlepop ice cream, sweetie.....
:))
You totally made my day!!

*hugs*

the one with a happy day.

2010-01-14T10:04:00.002+08:00

Don't be stupid
You know I love you
Don't be ridiculous
You know I need you
Don't be absurd.
You know I want you
Don't be impossible...

Yesterday was a great day....
I was sitting in the MRT just now and I realized that none of my great days in my life matter without you.
You're the one I want next to me when my dreams come true
and you're the one I want next to me if they don't.

As long as I have you...
I guess every other problem goes away.
:)

the one with party all night

2010-01-06T09:13:00.003+08:00

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

Eddy and I went to Sylvia's chalet the other night...
Sylvia saw Eddy and she shrieked, " EEEEDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYY!"
and gave him a hug!
That will be the only time when hugging the opposite sex is okay: when it is hugging Sylvia!
*faints*
Isn't she gorgeous?
and she is so humble and sweet and soft-spoken...
Well, she might not be the Singapore Idol 3 winner but I'm sure she will make it big even without the title.
:)))
looooooove her!
*faints again*

I have replaced my picture with Eddy on my mobile wallpaper to my picture with Sylvia.
XD
Don't be mad at me ok, baby? ;p

*blows kisses!*

the one with the last day of 2009.

2009-12-31T13:47:00.008+08:00

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
Its hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe somehow you will
You will when you believe

2009 starts with Eddy and I putting our new year resolution on paper and putting them together in a small bottle.
The bottle is on my desk right now. (FYI, I'm at work.)
Needless to say, the resolution did not happen.
And after this entry, I will be throwing it out the bloody window.
The year will end in a few hours' time, much to my delight.
I came into 2009 with lots of hope, love and a dream, but it did not happened as such at all.
My life in 2009 has been stagnant and unproductive.
I used to be so ambitious wanting to get a degree, a driving license, travel to anywhere everywhere!
But all I get this year was a lot of waiting, heart breaking, disappointments and even more heartbreak.
This year is by far the worst year of my adult life.
I could have done more.
I should have done so much more but I let myself be trapped into this black hole that I now call my own.
The only things in 2009 that I could actually bring to 2010 will be the life lessons.

Life lesson #1 - Things don't always turn out the way you planned or the way you think they actually should. So don't beat yourself over it, because that's just how life is.

Life lesson #2 - There are things that will go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. So learn to be accepting.

Life lesson #3 - You can't expect anything from anyone. Expectations not only makes you go crumbling down, it will also ruin your relationship with people you care about.

Life lesson #4 - You need a few good friends at work to keep you sane. Only because work can be such a major pain in your behind.

Life lesson #5 - Keep in touch with your friends. I admit that I have not been a good friend this year. But I will try my best not to let you down this year. I'm sorry, best friend.

Life lesson #6 - You are in-charge of your own happiness. So be what you want, do what you want that makes you happy.

Life lesson #7 - Learn to forgive.

I don't regret 2009, don't get me wrong...
I'm just glad it's over and done with.
Now, I'm crawling out of my black hole, still with lots of hope, love and a dream.
:)
I can tell 2010 will be better, simply because I've learned my lesson.
;))
Happy new year everyone!
May Allah keep you safe, sane and guide you to the right path.
Insya-allah.

I will be 'celebrating' the New Year countdown at home while slaving away for my elder sister. She will be getting engaged on 1 Jan 10. Congrats, Kak. You finally reeled him in. ;p

P.S.: I have no idea why I put my picture in this post but i don't care. ahahahah.
ok bye!

2009-12-29T15:18:00.011+08:00

Eddy surprised me with 2 tickets to the Singapore Idol Finale last Sunday!
Well, I ruined his surprise by asking him tons of questions and figuring it out for myself.
Hahaha.
Thanks honey!
:))

You know I’ve been rooting for Sylvia since Day 1...
I thought for someone who has never sang professionally before she went to the Idol auditions, she was one of the best in the entire competition.
Sezairi was a pub singer before and I would assume he is a seasoned performer so I didn’t see much of it.
This year’s competition had more strong female voices than male voices.
But most of the female contestants were booted out early.
Can I conclude that for 3 years in a row, the majority of voters are females ranging from 16 to 25?
Hahahahahaa.
Maybe because the only people that were voting, were their family members and friends.
I have no say though because I never voted until the finals.
When the show started, I was already religiously voting for Sylvia.
After both contestants had sung their 3 songs, I changed my mind and vote.

The first song, I thought Sylvia could have done better and Airi did his best.
I loved how he was calm, composed and downright having fun on stage.
The second song, Sylvia spoiled it. She spoiled my one of my favourite song.
:(
She chose the wrong song, I guess.
Airi stepped up his game! I thought he did his best the first song.
But he did even better for the second song!
He won my vote.
So, I voted twice as much as I voted for Sylvia.
He was THAT wonderful.
By the third song, I felt that Airi was already a winner! In just one hour, he had switched my vote. Truly amazing!

When he won, he said something that was really deep:

This Idol experience taught me that people love more than they hate.

That's our Singapore Idol everybody!!!
:))

The person that blew me away was Charice Pempengco!
(Go Youtube and find her please!)
Goosebumps were all over my body when she sang. A petite adorable girl with SOOOOO BIG the voice.
*melts*

Met a few of Eddy’s Idol friends (Thanks Jon for reserving the tickets for us!) but too bad we did not take pictures.
FYI, most of the pictures in my blog are from my handphone camera.
Eddy too slow to upload…

P.S.: Thanks darling for the Iphone!!! You know I love you!

*blows kisses*

Congrats Sezairi for winning the Singapore Idol Season 3!

the one with being needed.

2009-12-24T09:16:00.000+08:00

My love horoscope:

You are starting to feel a little emotional over love, Taurus, and this may be the effect of the holiday season. Whether you are single or attached, you could be feeling a lot needier than usual today. You may feel the need to care for others or to have them care for you - perhaps on a very private level. You have needs and you sense the needs of others and fitting the two together well makes it work. Scratch my back honey I'll scratch yours is a good motto for today, as you are just in that mood where if other people aren't meeting your expectations, they won't be getting much from you today. Their problem, not yours, right?

the one with Cik El's wedding

2009-12-21T11:20:00.006+08:00

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

My uncle got married last weekend.
He is now on his honeymoon in Bali
We practically grew up together because he lives in the same flat as I do, only different storey. Plus he is one 6 years older than me!
He was the one who introduced me to music.
Mariah Carey was the first musician I listened to, thanks to him.
I remember vividly always sneaking into his room when he was out and rummaging through all the CDs he owned.
He was more of a brother to me rather than an uncle because of our age difference.
He is one of the influential people in my life.
When he finally got married last weekend, there was this overwhelming feeling.
I couldn’t point out what exactly this feeling was but I was tearing when he made his vows.
I was tearing when he sat on the pelamin with his wife.
I was tearing when they give their respects to my grandparents.
I was tearing when I saw my grandparents tear.
Well, don’t get me wrong…
I AM ecstatic that he found someone who he could spend the rest of his life with.
And the fact that I absolutely adore his gentle and sweet wife, Cik Tini is a major bonus!
But I couldn't help but tear when he got married and I don’t know why.
Well, maybe I’m just so happy for him…

Anyways, on his wedding day, 2 events stood out.

ONE.

My grandparents house was only 2nd storey but we were too lazy to go up and down to find the smallest stuff. So someone suggested to lower down a basket every time someone needed something. hahahaha. ridiculous but ingenious.

TWO.

All of us forgot to make the buah mangga. but in just 5 minutes, my cousin-in-law came back from the markets armed with 2 pineapples and accessories for the buah mangga.
The rest was history. =D

So sweet my boyfriend helped. :) and I was happily eating away and just looking at them work. I'm lazy that way.

Looooove my cousins. :))

I pray that they will stay together until death do them part, living their dream with lots and lots of kids that I can bully, which will be my cousins.
Hehehhehe!
Amin.

the one with the 6 kisses

2009-12-16T16:54:00.003+08:00

I usually send Eddy a morning sms every time I’m reaching work and this is what happened last Monday:

Me: Good morning Bucuk!
You must be very proud of me today because even though I’m late, I still took the train.
=D
*snuggles*
Hope you have a good night sleep. Love you darling…

Eddy: Good morning Beautiful!!
I’m so proud of you baby!! =))
You deserve lots of kisses..
*muahks muahks muahks muahks muahks muahks*
I had a good sleep yesterday and I hope you had yours too… I love you too darling!! *snuggles*

=D 6 kisses not that a lot la… I want more please!!

I did not receive another sms after that. But I received an email from him…

And shortly after, an sms:

Enough???

Wait wait let me count… =p

A minute later…

183 kisses only??? Hehehehehe… That will do for now. =p Love you baby!
You are the sweetest bf.

So just now he woke up at 3pm! and called me.

Hello Beautiful!

Good morning, bucuk!!! A very very big morning kiss for you, k? *mmmmmmuuuuuaaaaaaahhhhhhks*

Hehehehehehe! Thank you sayang!

Then where is my kiss??

Don’t want to give you la! I need to save my kisses. I give you too much already the other day!

Isn't that idiotic!
pfft.

the one with ...

2009-12-10T17:00:00.005+08:00

If you knew I was dying, would it change anything?

the one with the 16th.

2009-12-08T23:57:00.000+08:00

When the winds come and they blow
When the rains turn to sleet and snow
When the waters rage at the sea
Bitter cold but you warm me

Eddy was on night shift on Monday so he ended work at 8am the following day (which is our 16th monthsary).
I called him up while I was on the way to work and said "Happy 16th, honey!"
You know what he did??

He laughed.

LAUGHED.
OUT LOUD.
I can imagine him laughing sampai tergolek golek kat lantai office.

I asked him:
what is so funny??
(thinking he never take any of this seriously. pfft.)
and he said:
Haha I wished you first!
what?? WHEN?
Early morning in your facebook. hahahaha.
-___- unfair lor.

but for the first time ever.
heheheehehheehhe..
Well, better late than never right?
;p

GERAAAAAAAMMMMMM TAU!
You know he would pretend that he doesn't care what I think
but I know he does.
ahahhaa.
and when I rant and rave like a lunatic, he will get extremely mad.
But somehow, he always makes it all okay after that.
even if it's not the 1st day of the fight, or the 2nd or the 3rd...
he will always make it all okay in the end.
:)

I know I'm difficult to please.
and sometimes my expectations are through the roof!
but if you don't love me for my worst, you don't need me at my best ok?

side note:
New Moon with my cuzzies today.
booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

ok bye!
*blows kisses*

the one with the no monthsary

2009-12-07T18:07:00.003+08:00

She said she wanted more of that stuff
The stuff that makes your heart, your heart go pitter-pat
The stuff that makes everything turn blue and green
She said that she prefers it like that

Eddy does not celebrate ‘monthsary’.
He doesn’t see it as a need to celebrate our love every single month.
He feels that every day should be a celebration of our love!
Even then, he feels we should give all out to only ONE day of the year, which is 8 Aug.
o.O
Riiiiight…
So for the past 16months
(minus a day because our ‘monthsary’ will be tomorrow),
I’ve tried to remind him of our ‘monthsary’ but it always fell on deaf ears.
I’ve stopped reminding him on the 11th ‘monthsary’.
I used to be so upset and whine and rant and rave like a crazy lunatic when he forgot our monthsary.
But now, no.
Maybe he is right.
Celebrating monthsary is not something we should do.
So the only bona fide celebration we did was for our 1 year anniversary.
Is it normal?

the one with the beautiful sunrise.

2009-12-05T22:46:00.004+08:00

You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore

Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance.

It was a beeeaaaaaauuuuuuttttiiiiiiffffffuuuuuulllllllllllllll morning at East Coast Beach...
:)

and we had our breakfast at Mac D.
That's me with no make up on.
Yellow complexion with absolutely the darkest dark circles on the planet.
o.O
and Eddy is soooo pink.
O.o

N: OMG. I look like a reindeer!
How could my nose be so red???
Everyone will be looking at me!!!!

E: Come here.
*kiss N's nose*
and
*pinch E's nose hard*
E: See? Now both of our noses are red.
Everyone will be looking at us now instead of only you ok?

It was a random weekend.
But I had barrels of fun with you...
It has been much too long.

*blows kisses*

The one where no boys allowed

2009-11-29T08:40:00.007+08:00

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

My virgin trip to the most orgasmic food on earth!
Thanks Nisa!!
Love youuuuuuu..

*blows kisses*

the one with the morning surprise

2009-11-27T21:38:00.008+08:00

Some things we don't talk about,
Rather do without and just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of, together all the while

I will never forget the time when you drove all the way to my house at 6am in the freaking morning just to surprise me and send me to work..
:)
But I ended up taking time off for a couple of hours of work so that I can spend more time with you..
One of my favourite EdRul episodes.
heh.

the one that was named Chuck.

2009-11-26T15:08:00.002+08:00

Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home

Someone dedicated to me this song, Hurtful by Erik Hassle....

I used to laugh it off
I used to look the other way
I used to save them troubles for another day

I kept my fingers crossed
I used to never take the blame
I'd pull a sunshine story in a pouring rain
The more I had to change, I just stayed the same
The same, the same, I stayed the same

You don't know what you've got, 'til you're missing it a lot
I had to go throw it away
I was wrong from the start
From the bottom of my heart, I apologize
What I did to you was hurtful
What I'm going through is hurtful

I used to buy my time
I used to beat around the bush
I'd rather give my ego another push

I used to be a fool
It was a foolish game I played
And it's a fool's faith, common mistakes I made
Once I had it right, it was all too late
Too late, too late, too little too late

You don't know what you've got, 'til you're missing it a lot
I had to go throw it away
I was wrong from the start
From the bottom of my heart, I apologize
What I did to you was hurtful
What I'm going through is hurtful
It is hurtful, it's hurtful

What I did to you
What I did to you

What I did to you was hurtful
What I'm going through is hurtful

I was wrong from the start
From the bottom of my heart, I apologize
What I did to you was hurtful
And what I'm going through is hurtful

Glad you know that you did wrong..
But it was nice while it lasted.
Well, come to think of it... we had a wonderful time together, didn't we?
Take care.

My weekly Horoscope (23 Nov-29 Nov 2009)

2009-11-25T21:27:00.001+08:00

My weekly Horoscope

A power struggle? Where did this come from? This is about the last thing you need right now. Some people take themselves so seriously. You don't have the energy to compete with people's egos, not right now. So early in the week you may find yourself giving in to someone, simply because you don't feel like the battle is worth fighting. (And by the way, you're right.) Share your frustrations with your friends. They'll completely understand. And they'll help you deal with it. Their humor is perfect for forgetting obnoxious people, and their loyalty to you is absolute.

the one that made my day

2009-11-25T16:21:00.003+08:00

Maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something
That's enough to please you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You can turn yourself around
And come on home

Since my branch had done some reorg last May,
I have been moved to a few workstations away from where I was previously seated.
I used to sit beside one of the managers in my branch and she loved talking to me about random stuffs like her family, her childhood, our health and blablabla.
It’s not normal for someone else’s manager to chit chat with you, an officer with no big title, during office hours right?
To think that she was feared by her staff was quite amusing because she was always so cheerful every time we had our conversations.
So when I moved, our daily chit chats stopped.
It has been half a year since the reorg.

Just now, she came to my workstation, slightly squeezed my shoulder, gave me a huge smile and whispered, “I miss talking to you.”
Now that just made my day.
It makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside.
:))
*runs around naked with hands on the air (like I just don’t care)*

hahahha!
Ok bye!

the one when it's all too much.

2009-11-23T17:43:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wish I could fast forward time just to see if it will all be worth it in the end.

the one when love dies by Melanie T. Lim

2009-11-23T14:10:00.003+08:00

SOMETIMES,
love just dies.

And there is no easy explanation for it.
Some of us see it coming.
Some of us don’t.
But most of us try not to see it at all.
Because it is easier to pretend that all is well rather than admit that your dreams have been shattered and you are left only with the broken pieces of your heart.

It hurts to imagine the person we love with someone else.
It hurts to no longer be the object of his affections.
It hurts to no longer be the centre of his universe.
It hurts to no longer be wanted.
It hurts to be discarded, replaced and dumped unceremoniously like an old rag that has outlived its usefulness.

It hurts to no longer be loved.

But it happens everyday to the best among us- to the beautiful, the kind, the talented, the smart, the successful, the multi-awarded. It happens to the perfect wife, sister, friend and mother. It happens to the civic leader, the CEO, the cover girl.

Whether or not it’s something we did or didn’t do, sometimes, love just dies. And over thinking (as my sister would say) would serve no purpose.

To be loved is a blessing.
But to no longer be loved is not necessarily a tragedy.
We’ve been raised since childhood to believe that love must last forever.
And perhaps it is a must.
But isn’t it possible to simply savour the moment and become richer by it without wanting to possess it forever?
Isn’t it possible to love and let go and love again?
Isn’t it possible to love forever but to love different people over time?

It’s all right to no longer be loved.
It’s all right to stop loving.
It’s all right to mourn for love’s losses but to condemn yourself to a life of misery because your love did not last forever is foolhardy.
If love must die, let it go peacefully into the night.

But don’t keep score.

Love is not a contest.
It is not a competition to see who emerges the prettiest, the craftiest or toughest.
Love is what it is- a GIFT.
It cannot be forced on anyone.
Neither can it be forced out of anyone.
So let it be...

When love dies,
hold on to the memories.
But let go of the one you love.

the one when she doesn't wanna be herself

2009-11-20T16:43:00.000+08:00

Which Grey's Anatomy Character Are You?

More on Grey's Anatomy. Created by BuddyTV

the one with the bright lights

2009-11-19T17:22:00.003+08:00

And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so..

Look at the way he smiles... :))

*blows kisses*

the one with the sleepless night

2009-11-18T15:36:00.003+08:00

I was watching Project Runway on Channel 5 in my living room with my cousin, Kak Zai and one of her sons, Auji, the other day when Auji pointed at a male contestant
(we were all sitting quite near to the television)
and muttered something again and again.

I asked Kak Zai what he was saying and she mentioned that Auji thinks the contestant is Hantu.
(Hantu means ghost in malay)
Earlier in the day, they had watched this comedic malay ghost movie, Momok.
The ghost in the movie had long black hair and the male contestant has long hair.
I thought he was bright to think that.
He keeping pointing to the male contestant and said, “Mama, Hantu hantu!”
Both of us just laughed it off.

A few moments later,
he turned around,
looked outside the window and pointed to the tree.
And said again, “Mama, Hantu hantu! Hantu Hantu!”
Over and over again.
It was on a Thursday Night.

the one with the november rain

2009-11-17T10:35:00.004+08:00

So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
in the cold November rain

Pardon me for the lack of updates.
Just felt like going invisible.

You know I have expected this to happen.
But to have it happening on live mode really broke my heart into tiny gazillion and one pieces.
I can literally hear my heart breaking as the words were being said.
Lesson learnt?
No matter how hard you prepare yourself for the so-called ‘unexpected’, it will still hit you like a garbage truck.
And the smell will linger on you too.
Preparing me to hear him say those words did not cushion the fall.
In fact, it made it all worse for the reason that he had proved me right.
*sigh* Oh how I wish I was wrong.
So what would you do when somebody you are so devoted to (intentionally or unintentionally) break your heart?
I instinctively broke his.
I know I was too impetuous. I should have given it some thought before deciding to end things but my only fixation then was the cracking sound of my heart.
He didn’t want me to go.
He tried to convince me that it wasn’t what I wanted but I wouldn’t listen to him and left anyway.
It was just way too hard for me to fathom immediately.
His words pushed me over the edge I guess because the next thing I knew was that I got really sick.

My point of this entry is not to put emphasis on how my heart got broken.
It is to highlight how I broke his.
Even when I broke his heart, it took him a whole day to work out that he could not lose me.
But it took me a whole week to realize it.
Eddy and I are still trying to figure everything out but I hope everything will be alright soon.

I still have hope.
I still have faith.
:)

*blows kisses*

the one with the epitome of hotness

2009-10-25T23:57:00.004+08:00

As I'm typing this entry, I'm drooling over Matt Dallas!!!!!

WHY I THINK MATT DALLAS IS THE EPITOME OF HOTNESS:

1) He has kissable lips....

2) He looks good with or without cap on..
:))

3) He is one of the few guys I find extremely sexy with a beard.
*melts*
AND HIS HAIR!!!
god help me.

4) He is always ready to flash a smile...
*drools*

5) He has deep set eyes which I would loooooooove to get lost in......

6) He looks sooooooo adorable in glasses!
MAJOR PLUS POINT!

7/8/9) Did I mention his captivating, heart-melting smile???

10) AND he is Dr. Mc Dreamy's clone!
Only younger and waaaaaay my type.

*faints*

The one with Project: Cleft

2009-10-14T20:02:00.005+08:00

Project Cleft is a non-profit project which is led by an independent team of SMU undergraduates. Their aim is to bring awareness and attention to the plight of children with facial deformities, namely those who suffer from the Cleft Lip/Palates medical condition...

Through the sale and promotion of a new, exclusive song album, they hope to raise as much money for their beneficiary, Operation Smile*.
All songs on the album will be in Bahasa Melayu.
These songs are written by tertiary youth bands from SMU, NUS and NTU...
and also my boyfriend, Eddy Chua! :))

So these is my plea:
They aaaaaalllllllllll want to smile..
As much as people say that looks don't matter, only personality counts,
society has focused on appearance more often than we realize...
This can make childhood, especially the teen years, hard for someone with a physical difference..
Because these kids have a prominent facial difference, they experience painful teasing that can damage their self-esteem.. sometimes for good.
:(
Don't make it harder than it already is.
Give them a reason to smile, just like everyone else.

Only a limited number of copies of the album will be produced for sale.
So what are you waiting for??
BUY IT NOW!
Only $15.00 per cd album...
Please message Eddy through facebook to purchase the album.

I will be going to their Badoque showcase on 20 Oct 09, 7-9pm...
Eddy will be singing a few songs as well....
Why don't you people come on down and support Project: Cleft?
:)

Meanwhile, I will leave you with this video:

*Operation Smile: http://www.operationsmile.org.sg/

the one when I'm sick of it.

2009-10-13T17:25:00.003+08:00

I never needed you to be strong,

I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs,
I never needed pain,
I never needed strain,
My love for you was strong enough you should have known.

Syawal hasn’t exactly been the best month of the year.
I wasn’t even keen on going for visits with family or friends.
I dreaded it, in fact. (No offence, people.)
My Raya visits ended on 4 Oct but I did not even get to wear the matching outfit with Eddy.

The reasons for my indifference could be due to the fact that:
1) One of my uncles got hospitalized
2) My family schedule for Raya was off so we were not in the usual ‘visiting group’
3) My love life nearly went down the drain because of my fcuked up attitude and expectations
4) I’m on a low carb diet so all the wonderfully fantabulous mouth-watering food that I could not eat tortured the HELL out of me. (After a month of no carb, I’m back to my daily binge of fries and rice. Boooooooo!)

Thank God that Syawal is nearly over because seriously, I’m sick of people posting their raya pictures in their blogs and facebook. (Again I would say, no offence people.)

One food for thought before I leave:
Why is it that it's so much easier to forgive a stranger than someone you love?

the one when it is a step at a time.

2009-10-12T16:39:00.004+08:00

So faithfully,
holding tight to every dream I thought our love would ever be
as the scent of hope slips through my fingers..
Plain for me to see,
I can feel now in your eyes the changing way you look at me..
Where's the love we knew would last us eternally?

And will your arms still hold me?
And your eyes console me?
Please don't turn your back and just pretend
that your heart still needs me
And your soul completes me
Can we find a way to fall in love again?

It's hard for you
when your heart has opened up to feelings that you never knew,
never thinking that you'd doubt our love.
You don't know what to do.
I'd give anything,
my heart,
my soul
if i could pull you through just to find again
the love we hold so true

And as every night goes by,
with every lonely tear I cry,
It's so clear to me..
I need you by my side.

2009-10-07T16:37:00.001+08:00

I am in love with you
You set me free
I can't do this thing
Called life without you, here with me

Your Love Horoscope

You are going through a time, Taurus, where you are exploring your deepest emotional connections in romance.
You may find a period of restlessness in your romantic affairs,
and it may feel like no progress is being made at all.
The key to this situation is understanding that the restlessness is coming from within,
and not from another party.
You are the kind of person that can achieve anything regardless of how high you set your sights.
If you adopt some authentic optimism and faith in your romantic situation,
you can make some changes and accept some challenges at the deepest emotional levels.
This is where the real work begins,
within you,
and the changes that result are the kind that last a lifetime.

*fingers crossed*

the with with music and lyrics

2009-10-06T14:53:00.004+08:00

You treat me like a queen when we go out,
want to show everyone what our love’s about.
All wrapped up in me whenever there is a crowd
but when no one’s around…..

You know I've got this theory,
there are two kinds of people in the world...
There are lyrics people and music people.
You know, the lyrics people tend to be analytical....
They know all about the meaning of the song.
They're the ones you see with the CD insert out like 5 mins after buying it, pouring over the lyrics, interpreting the hell out of everything.
Um, then there’s the music people.
Who could care less for the lyrics as long as it’s just got a good beat and you could dance to it.
I know I'm a lyrics girl through and through.
but sometimes,
I wish I could just let loose and be a music girl once in a while.
They are the ones with more fun.
hah.

p.s.: The picture has nothing to do with the post. Just felt like putting up an old pic.
We were so young then. Miss stagearts. Miss giving people a makeover.

the one when it is not black or white.

2009-10-02T15:26:00.004+08:00

If they could only see you like I do,
then they would see a stranger too.

He loves me.
He loves me not.
He love me.
He love me not...
Not.
So I guess it's a not then?

the one when caring is wrong

2009-09-29T09:10:00.004+08:00

I need a very big hug.
:'(

the one when it was his birthday

2009-09-26T10:55:00.015+08:00

Sometimes i sit and i wonder
And i just can't seem to believe
What a blessing it's been to be loved
You're an angel sent to me

I know that this post is 2 months overdue...
I'm sorry!
I really really want to blog about it ok?
But blogger was being a bitch.
:(
Anyways, Eddy's 23rd birthday was on 29 Jul.
It was on a Wednesday. but knowing how much he loves the company of his friends and cousins, I decided it to be on a Sunday when most of our friends would be able to attend his mini celebration at Ben & Jerry's Lounge at the Cathay.
I booked the Ben & Jerry's Lounge at the Cathay 2 months in advance.
Yes, I was THAT kan-chiong.

Anyway.....
I had decided a long long long time ago that I wanted to make a treasure hunt for his birthday.
So a few days prior to that eventful day, I went all around town with Khal searching for the right gifts and stopovers. (Thanks for accompanying me, darling!!)
There were 5 stopovers in total.
Every stopover had a gift and a card with a clue on where to go next.
The stopovers were Famous Amos at Cineleisure, Kinokuniya, the flower shop at Ngee Ann City, the accessories shop at Taka and the Ben & Jerry's!
The 4 mini gifts were a heart-shaped cookie with "Love of my life" on it, a black leather organizer, a stalk of red rose with "Happy Birthday" stamped on the rose petal and 2 really really cuuuuuuute socks.
hahahaha.

Lucky all the sales person were willing to play along with the Treasure Hunt.
(except for the Kinokuniya staff after which I spoke to her manager and her manager played along!)

Before the treasure hunt,
I had promised Eddy that I would get for him a semi-acoustic guitar for his birthday..
and so we searched high and low for the perfect one.
When we finally found the perfect one (yet to be named til now btw.)
it was already 4.30pm.
:(
We were behind schedule but we were famished.
After we ate, I told Eddy that I wanted to go to the loo.
and then he said "You are leaving me, aren't you? You are going to leave me like how you left me for the AiRul's amazing race, right?"
hahahahha.
kesiaaaan.
I thought twice if I should go with him for the hunt.
Poor him had to go all over Town alone with the new guitar on his back with only one hour to finish the whole thing!
kesiaaaan.

I left him and a clue card in his guitar bag and went straight to Ben & Jerry's.
5.30pm and no one was there yet. Everyone was suppose to be there by 5.30pm.
o_O
Aini and Fazli was the first to arrive.
Then it was Soffie and bf (now ex-bf.).
Followed by Nisa, Sharul, Azi and Andy.
Next were Halif, Naseef and Janice.
and then Ammar and gf, and Weiling and Azima.
Eddy's cousins were late!!!!!!
and they were supposed to be the first people to arrive.
-___- pfft.
Aini and Fazli helped with the balloons and ugly banner.
I didn't know the banner was THAT ugly until Aini pointed it out.
She did tried to salvage my reputation by editing the banner abit, but it was in vain.
It was still ugly.
booooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Eddy was 45mins late!
He was lost. Apparently he had nooooo idea WHERE is kinokuniya.
It was freaking obvious that reading is not his hobby.
lol.

Anyways.........
when he finally came, the look on his face was priceless.
:) That look made everything so worth it.
It was such a shame that his close buddies like Kamsani, Hisyam, Azfar were not able to make it due to work & school commitments.

One of the three tv screens where I had set up a birthday video for Love...
Too bad the projector's not working.
Otherwise, it would have been perfect.
:(

The cake was superbly goood!!!!!!
But none of the guests ate it.
They were all too buzy eating the free ice cream.

That's the first thing he want to do to me when he received a surprise.
How grateful!

Make it a good one, love.

Cousins forever.

Best friend Soffie and Love.

This picture is clearer because it's not from my handphone camera.

Sadly, we had no photos of them together with the bday boy.

The key to unlock the free ice cream!

It's not exactly free.
I paid the whole thing so you guys can eat them for free.

I wouldn't want my guests to pay for the party that I had planned...
Plus, there wasn't any real food.
Just ice cream for everyone.
Funny thing is, Eddy and I only had one ice cream and even then,
we did not get to finish it.

Guests happy with the ice cream!

I wonder how much Abg Iz ate.

Thanks for helping me, Aini and Fazli!!
*hugs* love you.

Eddy sang a few songs for us with his brand new semi-acoustic guitar.
:)

With the price tag still stuck to the guitar.
-___-
He did not want to take it out.

As much as I hope you love your guitar, baby,
I hope it's not as much as you love me alright?
=p otherwise, you better give me that guitar back!

The ugly banner that I made for him. pfft.
My mom thought it was pretty nice, though.
I wonder what she was thinking...

Love love.
I know this is the best birthday you ever had.
Wait till next year...
I've already planned for it.
;p

*I love you, and that's all I really know......*

the one with raya 2009

2009-09-21T21:58:00.004+08:00

We can pretend nothing's changed
Pretend it's all the same
And there would be no pain tonight
It's gonna be alright

My baju raya on the first day.
SOOOOOO cute ryte?
The ribbon reminds my male cousin of "Pin the donkey."
o_O
but I don't care.

The first day of Raya was the same as every other year.
Just different clothes.
Different decoration for the house.
I have no idea why this year, I thought of my dad alot.
Thinking about my dad wasn't a good thing.
It made me think about how he just threw us out of his life like garbage and how easy it was for him to throw away his own flesh and blood so that he could start a new life.
I have friends who lost their dad because they passed away.
But I can tell you that losing them like that is much much easier than losing a dad like how I did. Your dad did not choose to leave. Mine did.
He CHOSE to leave us.
He left and I've never heard from him since.
and to think that I have to look for him when I'm about to be married is crazy!
Why? Why should I find someone who has abandoned us out of his free will?
why? why? why? oh god why???
*shrugs*
Truthfully? Having his blood in my veins make me hate myself sometimes.
:(

anyhoooos...... enough with the sad sob story...
( I cut my fringe on my own and now my hair is all ugly! Pfft.)
The second day of Raya.. all of us wore white!
Tell me my sisters and I look alike!
:)
I'm not the sweet demure and act all lady-like type of girl.
So in just an hour of wearing the baju, I had Ayam Masak Merah stains on my sleeves.
Tsktsktsk.
Kesiaaaaaannn...

The Fasting month flew by in a blink of an eye and then Raya came...
so fast right??
:(
I wish Ramadan stayed a little bit longer..
but Happy Hari Raya everybody!
Nurul would like to take this opportunity to apologise for all the things I've done and said that might have hurt everyone, anyone this past year.
I'm not perfect.
halalkan makan minum ye?
maaf zahir dan batin, truly from the heart.
*blows kisses*
love you!
ok bye.

the one with 100 sticky notes

2009-09-15T20:18:00.013+08:00

It has been a really really long time since we hung out with them..
Fazli's bday was when both are having exams, so we decided to hang out only after their exams.
It was just a small surprise but I really do hope Aini and Fazli had as much fun as I did.
We missed you guys sooooooooooo much!!

Lucky he did not get a heart attack from us 'vandalising' your first gf. ;p

Surprise one check!

Blindfold check!

Pictures.... puzzle.... sand art... badges... all check!

My sucky attempt of 'art'.

Keppel Island has such a beautiful scenery.................

Look at how he smiles. :)
another puzzle for his bday.
love love!

They look like tourists don't they? lol

Eddy drove us to popeye at Singapore Flyer for iftar...

and Chunkfest at Marina Barrage right after....

The whole day was perfect.
I love you guys sooo much.
Thank you for always being so wonderful.
*blows kisses*

more pictures in my facebook!

2009-09-05T13:27:00.003+08:00

You left without saying goodbye
Although I'm sure you tried
You call and ask from time to time
To make sure we're alive
But you weren't there

It was just me and my other colleague in the office just now from 9-1pm.
Since she left about 50 mins ago, I'm now at work all alone.
Why am I at work on a Saturday?
Because work was just too much.
So Since I'm watching "I love you Beth Cooper" with Nisa around 3+pm today, I'm waiting (im)patiently for the time to fly by.
zzzzzzzzzzz........................
I told Nisa to meet me at 2pm but she asked me to give her more time to sleep.
O_o
Too bad the rest is not able to join us.
We keep delaying and delaying and delaying the whole meet up with the gerek giler gang that it's ridiculous.
It's really hard to meet up when we have clashing schedules.
You guys are definitely missed!

I was in a cab a few days ago and the driver was asking me all sorts of funny questions about "animal instincts" and "human nature" and all sorts.
It's human nature for a man to have wandering eyes, he said.
It's the wife's duty to satisfy the husband, he said.
what crap!
I swear I would have thrown myself out of the cab when he was driving through the expressway if I did not think of Eddy's look on his face when I surprised him at his home.
pfft.
There should be a law about what kind of topics taxi drivers are allowed to open to passengers!
pfft.

Ramadan has been so far so good.
The preparations for Raya have been NIL.
Reason being I don't find the need to prepare anything.
Every year, my mum would be asking me when will I want to bake cookies with her.
and every year I will tell her since when have I been helping her to bake anything?
hehehehe. Maybe things should change.
My life has been perfectly routined, it is kind of annoying.
Work, Family, Friends, Boyfriend, Work, Boyfriend, Friends, Family.
I need something more than Work, Family, Boyfriend, Friends.
I need something more..
MOOOOORRREEEEEEE!
ok la. Bye.

*blows kisses*

the one where we turn one on 08082009

2009-09-04T18:02:00.005+08:00

080808 was our first date and it was perfect.

one year later........................... on 080809

I thought it couldn't beat the first date but boy, I was sooo wrong.
It was 54560646135406516 times better!
Some people are still finding the one, some people are choosing the wrong ones...
And me?
I have you..
And that's more than I ever asked for.....
:)

I love you, darling.

the one when all we have to do is wait.

2009-09-04T08:56:00.004+08:00

I wouldn't change one second of our life together.

Another time-travel drama that doesn't make a lick of sense,
but die-hard romantics like me won't mind..
I cried ALMOST all the way, Eddy's jacket was soaked with my tears.
lol.
It could be as good as The Notebook, but it wasn't.
Only because of the sci-fi thing.
But I absolutely loooooooove Rachel McAdams!
She is so talented and pretty and cute and lovable and sugar spice and everything nice!
Go watch the movie go!

the one with Saturday's date

2009-09-03T09:55:00.002+08:00

Dont let it fade out of sight
Just let the moments sweep us both away
Lifting us to where
We both agree
Its just timeless

I sooooo wanna go here on Sat!!!!!
It's halal too!
:))

the one when it's just you and me against the world

2009-08-24T10:19:00.000+08:00

Shame on all of you who think that he would do such a thing after watching the ridiculous SG Idol gossip trailer!
Pfft.
Reality TV, my ass.
It’s amazing how the media can make something out of nothing.

You don’t have to explain yourself, honey.
Because the person who loves you doesn’t need it, and the person who hates you won’t believe it.

the one with dessert haven.

2009-08-19T11:43:00.005+08:00

Yey!
Dessert Haven, here I come!

the one with the pretty box and a book.

2009-08-17T19:16:00.000+08:00

the one where my ears nearly bleed.

2009-08-15T10:15:00.006+08:00

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

If you guys have been on board the MRT,
you might have heard the ANNOYING Phua Chua Kang theme song blasting from the LCD display on every MRT station in Singapore .
Other countries put a beautiful lady with biiiiiig boobs in a bikini or the most good looking man in their country on their advertisements and we put Rosie Phua and her ridiculous fashion-gone-horribly-wrong sense of style on our advertisements!
Nonsense!
I really want to know what the SMRT people were thinking when they made the decision to have the Phua Chu Kang advert in all of the MRT stations...
and to think that it is as part of a campaign by Singapore Kindness Movement and the public transport authorities??
Wth were they even thinking, man. Really.
I hope they put it down soon because I don't think it shows the good side of Singapore.
The character does not even represent Singapore.
The concern that they trying to actually emphasized on is actually narrowed down.
Bad dress sense, horrible grasp of the English language, poor etiquette.
-__-
I believe that Singapore is more or less a gracious community.
We are not perfect but we ARE kind and polite and courteous.
tsktsktsk.

Our MM Lee mentioned that we have 2 challenges ahead:
(taken from http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090813/tap-697-mm-lee-outlines-challenges-singa-231650b.html)

1) Is integrating new citizens and permanent residents (PRs) with the local population. The speed of this process depends on the openness of Singaporeans who are born and raised here, and the willingness of new citizens to adapt and be part of the Singapore society.

Mr Lee, however, assured Singaporeans that the government is conscious of protecting the interests of citizens. In fact, there is a clear distinction between citizens and PRs in terms of HDB housing, hospital charges, education fees and the Resilience Package.

On the other hand, he added that Singapore cannot make the immigration process so onerous that no one comes. For example, it cannot insist that PRs or new citizens be fluent in English when even some existing citizens are not.

2) Is to encouraging Chinese Singaporeans to speak more Mandarin and to take up scholarships to study in China’s top universities.

MM Lee said Singapore cannot insist that PRs or new citizens be fluent in English when even some existing citizens are not. But his 2nd challenge was to encourage Chinese Singaporeans to speak more Mandarin and to take up scholarships to study in China’s top universities. Why not instead of encouraging them to speak more Mandarin, ENCOURAGE THEM TO SPEAK FLUENT ENGLISH INSTEAD OF 'SINGLISH'?

I think that the PRs or new citizens should not need to be fluent in English but they should at least have a BASIC command of English to be in Singapore.

Example 1 - My indian colleague was asking a bus driver on where she should alight and the wonderful bus driver replied in Mandarin.
-___-
Example 2 - I wanted my egg to be cooked thoroughly so I asked the cook and she couldn't understand me at all because she has no BASIC command in English.
Example 3 - "How can I address you?" "oh. my address ah! Blk 54632 efwerhygAfrhyh...."

sigh.
Maybe I should be the one upgrading myself and learn how to speak the Mandarin language instead of whining about this issue...
Maybe the government should subsidize Mandarin courses for Malay and Indian locals so that we won't be at a loss when more new citizens and PR live in Singapore...

the one where if it is all worth it.

2009-08-14T17:10:00.001+08:00

I think my management is crazy.
They said in my performance review interview that I did quite well blablabla and mentioned that my ranking was the higher portion of Grade 3.

(Side track abit. There are grade 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. Grade 1 is for those who has attitude problem. Grade 2 is for those who just meet the Key Point Indicators (KPI). Grade 3 is for those who exceeded the KPI. This is where 85% of staff will be. Grade 4 and Grade 5 is for those who are either superhuman or bootlickers. For Grade 3, there will be a range. Example will be 0.8 – 2.0. For those who did better, they will get 2.0. Those who did okay okay will get 0.8. You get the idea right? Riiight.)

Anyway, my manager said I’m in the higher Grade 3 position.
Of course I was ecstatic!
Truth be told, I did a lot of shit work for others as well for the club, which counts for the whole company okay!
So although I thought I deserve to be in Grade 4, I figured that maybe it is fine.
To get bonuses now is a miracle judging from the poor economy.
Come pay day and what did I come to find?
I got the highest range for Grade 3.
But guess what??
All the colleagues that shared their performance bonus information have the highest range for Grade 3 as well!
Imagine that.
So what is the moral of the story, people?
Do you think I should continue doing more than what I should be doing, knowing that I will not get what I deserve in the end or should I just suck it up and do what I did last year, hoping they will do the right thing in the end?
By the end of the month, almost ¾ of my pay and bonus is gone just like that.
I didn’t even get to buy anything I really want like the pretty Tiffany & Co. bracelet. Or the make-up kit from Chanel.

Now I’m starting to wonder if working just for the sake of money is a good idea.
Now I’m starting to wonder if it is all worth it.
:(

2009-08-10T11:35:00.000+08:00

I miss blogging.

I've been meaning to post some pictures of:

1) Eddy's Birthday
2) Ayu's belated birthday celebration
3) Our Anniversary
4) Our random dates

But there is some problem with Blogger nowadays.
There is no button for pictures.
hmmmmmmmmmm...
Looks like I have to wait a little longer to talk about my wonderful time.
I just want to say that I'm happy where I am right now.
I feel so blessed.
:)

Happy National Day everyone!

the one when i know u still love me

2009-08-04T10:36:00.004+08:00

I'm lucky to have the sweetest boyfriend ever

who gives me the puss in boots face,
who mimicks every stupid thing I do,
who does stupid things (on purpose or not) just to make me laugh,
who kisses my nose when I'm asleep,
who kisses my forehead when I'm upset,
who tucks my hair behind my ear,
who put a flower in his hair!,
who buys me an aquarium for fun,
who comes to my workplace to surprise me,
who laughs in the middle of our first kiss,
who never fails to make me smile,
who smiles,
who laughs,
who sings,
who loves me,
whom I love so dearly..

I'm extremely lucky.
Thank you, God.

the one when with the sweet surprise

2009-07-28T15:56:00.001+08:00

Day 4

2009-07-18T11:36:00.005+08:00

The day started off okay.. normal..
my M was not around.
So i get my peace and quiet.
:D
I was looking forward to end of work coz i was to play bowling with Eddy's family.
After work, they picked me up and off we went to Orchid Country Club for bowling...
I'm not really a fan of bowling but Eddy's family are HUGE fans of bowling.
His mummy and makciks spend around 2-3days a week playing bowling.
I only played one game and i was already tired.
-___-
My fingers hurt like hell.
Eddy's younger sister was really really really good.
She even beat her bf on the 2nd game!
I'm so ashamed of my score, man...
tsktsk.
fyi: Eddy has been staying at OCC for a few days now for sg idol. I knew we had no chance of meeting him but I guess his dad wanted to be close to him... He has a close knitted family and they spend alot of time together, thus a reason why I always hang in his house, watching movies and playing sims 3. Plus, his house have everything! from playstation 2 to wii to the latest movies! whatever new gadget that comes out, his daddy always buys it.
Okay back to the story.
After bowling we went to eat at the dunno wher.
All the judges of sg idol were there sitting in couches, more or less comfortably.
I will make a guess that there are some elimination thing going on and true enough!
one by one the contestants came out.
Eddy said that if I did not hear from him until Sat, it means that he has gotten through to the top 24.
but if he called on Thursday, it means he didn't make it...
We were eating dinner and looking out for Eddy at the exact same time.
hahaha.
Saw some of the contestants cried.. most probably they didn't make it.
Saw some of the contestants jumped for joy...
We finished eating already and it was already 9pm.
and still no sign of Eddy.
We were about to go off and my heart raced like crazy when I saw him walking up to the judges.
In my mind, I was thinking what it would happen if I came out of the restaurant, came up to Eddy and gave him a biiiiig hug!
hahaha.
I'm crazy that way.
Obviously I didn't do it la.
duuuuh.
When he got up from his seat, my heart sank.
I knew.
I wished I didn't know.
When I reached home, his mummy SMSed me, "Nurul jangan sedih sedih k?"
I wasn't sad.
But I know she was.
I got sick that day and I got 2 days MC.
and what is the first thing i do when I get my MC?
Go to Eddy's house to cheer him up.

From more 3000 people that auditioned, you were the top 40...
It's okay...
There are other ways to reach for your dream, baby..
Just don't stop believing, alright?
*hugs*

Day Three

2009-07-15T10:52:00.002+08:00

Day Three

A horrible day at work.
I was in tears from 8am -5.30pm, from missing you so much.

I blamed you for leaving. You had a choice to follow your dreams OR being with me and you chose to follow your dreams.
I blamed myself for being rather dependent on you.
It’s like now you are choosing a better option and when things do not go so well, you can always go to your 2nd option; me.
:( You can go back to your ordinary life and think, "well, at least I have you."
So you tell me what’s going to happen when things do go well?
You will get busier and busier and all I will ever get is scraps of your time in exchange for my 24/7 support…
I'd rather be someone ordinary than lose an extraordinary love.
But now it feels like you'd rather be someone extraordinary and have an ordinary love
That’s just not fair.
:..(
What do I get from all this, baby?

I had an email conversation with Aizat and telephone conversations with your mum (she misses you too but apparently she said your dad misses you more!) and Abang Iz.
All asked of my well-being.
Your family members are all wonderful people…
Somehow, they were there for me when I need you the most.
Alhamdulillah…

I went to Vivo City with Azza after work and spent an enormous amount of money for shopping and hair treatment.
That helps. Before I fell asleep, I decided that the day was not a big of a deal.
I just miss you too much, that’s all.
You have that effect on me!
How I wish I can forward to the day that I will be in your arms again.

I love you, baby.

Day Two

2009-07-15T10:49:00.001+08:00

I have started the work cycle again on Monday.
But just a few minutes before I stepped in the office, I received an SMS from Aini.
“… He wants you to know that you’re always on his mind and he’ll kiss your picture every night… He told me to take care of you so anything just text me... hmm..?”
That’s just the sweetest thing ever.
For your information, I have a small shrine of him at my workstation. So I ended up kissing every single picture I had of him that day.
I might be on the extreme doing that but I don’t give a damn.

I miss my boyfriend.
We have been together for 11 months now and there was never a day that I did not get to hear his voice, even when I went to Bintan I called him every day.
The day before he left for camp, I’ve helped him pack his suitcase.
I put little notes all over; his jackets’ pockets, his shoes, his toiletries bag, his jeans’ pocket and so on.
As silly as it might sound, I was afraid that he did not remember me by the time he gets back.

The day was quick and it went okay.
I did not cry or anything while I was at work.
Hahaha.
Work was a bore, as usual, though the influx of contacts that is coming in is unbearable.
Lots of juggling action involved!
So by the end of the day, I was glad it was over.
Your dad called me to ask if you have called… I told him ‘no’.
He thought it would be a great idea if we could go bowling together at the place you are staying.
I can tell he misses you.
Hehehe…

I went down on my knees and prayed for you before I sleep, baby.
I hope you are well.
This will probably be the first and last time that I wished you did not come back so soon.
I know this means a lot to you.
I love you, darling.

Day ONE

2009-07-13T17:58:00.001+08:00

Dear Love,

Yesterday after you called me in the early freaking morning… I couldn’t sleep.
I cried so hard like as if you are leaving the country for war like that.
I felt like stopping you, telling you, “Baby, don’t go...”
I know that if I did, you would not have gone and I will be the most selfish bitch that ever existed on the planet!
You said you won’t resent me from stopping you from leaving but I know that’s not true.
Of course you would resent me because I would too.
I don’t want to be the barrier sandwiched between you and your dream…
So with a heavy heart, I bid my farewell.
Thank God it was a Sunday, my family day.
Since my bonus is already out, I’ve treated my family to Hi-tea at Carousel…
Half-way eating, my mobile rang; it was Aizat.
Aizat asked me if I was still crying for you and told me that you have asked him to tell me that you love me.
I can’t believe you made me cry in the middle of eating!
Tsktsktsk.
You are so sweet, darling.
Anyway… I bought a few dresses and tops… One newly cute white dress will be worn when you come back ok!
Hehehehe!
I also bought a new mobile! Sony Ericsson C905… Its best feature is the 8.1 megapixel cybershot camera! Plus it is pink! The downside is that it is a tad bulky.
But it is okay; I hope with that, it will not be easy for me to misplace my mobile…
After shopping, my family went to Nyai and Yai house and we chatted.
Your dad was wonderful enough to call me at night to ask me how I was, if I stopped crying or not. (What’s with people thinking I will be crying the whole day, man!)
And told me that he would be taking care of our chicken until I come by to his house again or until you come back home…
At first I asked him, “Uncle, what chicken? I don’t have any chicken!”
He answered, “Aiyah, that chicken in Eddy’s room. The one that can die and reset one!”
Hehehe!
So cute right? It was our tamagotchi la!
Hehehe!
I came home and at 11.55pm, I tested my wifi and went to facebook and you wrote on my wall. And you wrote on our blog.
And there it was.
A sweet post before you left.
I then cried to sleep.
I love you, darling.
Be safe.

the one with the best friend post

2009-07-10T16:26:00.002+08:00

Dear Shera,
I'm sorry that it has taken me too long to blog about our day together...
I love u ok?
*hugs*
I will update soon.
:))

Hugs & Cookies,
NuruLL

the one with the stranger

2009-07-06T16:28:00.002+08:00

My paternal grandmother passed away yesterday.
But somehow I feel unaffected.
Not even sure if I'm suppose to feel anything in the first place.
hmmmm...

the one when it hurts

2009-06-29T10:52:00.002+08:00

Dear Fadil,

I’m sorry for your loss.
We aren’t as close as we were before but still, my heart goes out to you and your family.
I tried to find the right words to say to make you feel better but nothing came out.
So, I’m not going to say the clichés like
“He is in a better place”,
“He is no longer suffering”
or the most overused clichés ever “Time heals all wounds”.
Losing someone you love especially one of your parents is nothing short of a catastrophe.
Time will never heal all wounds.
The pain of losing someone you love will never ever go away, unfortunately.
Birthdays, Holidays, Weddings… Even sit-down family dinners may seem like a chore.
They will only remind you of the person you have lost and the pain will be more unbearable.
So that’s when your family members, your friends, your girlfriend comes to the picture.
I hope they will be there for you.
You know I’m still here and I still care...
Be kind to yourself, Fadil.
Your dad will be in my thoughts and prayers.

My hearfelt condolences,
Nurul

the one with sg idol

2009-06-22T22:52:00.003+08:00

Just one more breath, I beg you please.
Just one more step, you are not weak.
My legs are sturdy but they need you to survive.
My heart is sturdy but I need you.

I'm so proud of you, darling.
:)
*blows kisses*

2009-06-18T17:39:00.002+08:00

FINE.

the one with the biggest day

2009-06-11T10:44:00.001+08:00

"You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day. Not until it's happening. You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there's not enough time, because you wanna live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days. You know?"

Izzie : What a Difference a Day Makes

the one with Jason again

2009-06-09T16:05:00.002+08:00

“10 Things Guys Wish You Knew,”
by Jason Mraz, Cosmopolitan Mag, June 2009 issue

1. You look sexy when you’re puffy from lying on the pillow all night.

2. We don’t understand your addiction to celebrity gossip. Whatever you do, don’t talk about it on a date.

3. Guys get a monthly type of PMS too. We get moody and need our space.

4. It’s the hottest thing when you say, “Are you going to kiss me now?”

5. We read and reread your texts and e-mails.

6. It’s annoying when a girl continues to ask, “What’s really on your mind?” Eventually, the answer is going to be “You asking stupid questions is what’s on my mind.”

7. A lot of us are insecure about our bodies. Women look like beautiful, soft, gorgeous angels when they’re naked. We look like hairy ogres or little scrawny trolls.

8. It’s cool when a girl isn’t weird about food. I love a woman who will eat something slimy.

9. Never tell a guy he’s just like your father. It creeps us out.

10. Put on a men’s dress shirt and nothing else. We’ll be able to unbutton it no problem, and it shows off your legs in a wonderful way.

the one with................

2009-06-09T00:18:00.001+08:00

happy 10th?
not really.
I spend my 10th mostly without the bf.

the one where it's 10 already

2009-06-08T17:43:00.006+08:00

And I believe in dreams again
I believe that love will never end
And like the river finds the sea
I was lost, now I'm free
Cos' I believe in you and me

10 things about you that make me cringe (but I can still tolerate):

1) How you do not shave your moustache and beard sometimes.
(You know I hate it. You do it on purpose! I know!)
2) How you always seem to be on the phone every single time we are on a date.
(You don’t know that he is Mr. Popular meh? *rolls eyes*)
3) How you rarely upload the photos ASAP when you told me you would.
(-___- still waiting, by the way)
4) How your work schedule sucks.
(Morning shift, afternoon shift, working on a Saturday.. haaaaiiizzz)
5) How you love to push me over the edge every time I’m angry.
(Honey, have you ever heard of this phrase ‘Adding salt to the wound’?)
6) How you always think that you are always right.
(Need I say more?)
7) How you get so busy with your stuffs like jamming, singing and whathaveyous.
(sad… huu.. huuu..)
8) How you are always late for our dates.
(My bf can’t wake up in the morning on the weekends.)
9) How some girls like to gatal gatal with him in facebook!
(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)
10) How you can walk away from me whenever we had a fight.
(It breaks my heart all the time.)

10 things about you that make me love you more:

1) How sometimes the beard can be sexy on you. ;)
2) How you pick up your phone every time I give you a call.
3) How you arrange all the photos in order and categorize them so it will be easy for me to see it….
4) How you always plan our dates around your inconsistent work schedule.
5) How you would always catch my fall every single time.
(You melt my heart ok?)
6) How you are always right 99% of the time.
(But I'm 100% right! :p)
7) How you still make me feel like I’m your top priority.
(Like giving me random sweet smses and phone calls)
8) How you always send me home even though you live 1579642 miles away.
9) How you always make me believe that I’m the only one you ever wanted out of all the girls in the world.
(Even when I think I’m fugly and fat)
10) How you always end up hugging me tight after every fight
*blows kisses*

Happy 10th, my love! :))

the one with the saddest story

2009-06-02T09:10:00.004+08:00

This story is damn long but it is worth reading..
This is for all the single, married, divorced, widowed individuals,
who take life for granted.
Please I BEG YOU, read this story until the end,
it is such an eye-opener for me.

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us.
Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young.
Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree.
You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.
I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery.
Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round.
As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother."
Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets.
Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy.
I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her.
For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!"
I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better."
Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything.
But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure.
Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and
every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.
Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."

There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast.
In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife?
At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice.
She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.
From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me.
For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room.
Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night.
I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me....
I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?"
Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"
After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting.
At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife.
To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.
That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?"
He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at
home?"
I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat.
I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not.
I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out.
Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes..
I opened my mouth but no words came out of it,
I really did not mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house.
Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.
For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call.
I was so furious, since mother arrived;
I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do?
For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life.

Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor."
The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.
Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news.
Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?
At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there.
It had only been three days, but he looked haggard.
I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him.
He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.
I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab.
At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy.
What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down.
Why?
Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes.
I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.
That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up.
I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face.
He was removing the money.
I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house.
Maybe he really intends to leave me for good.
What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters.
I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.
The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby.
I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."

I stood there in shock.
I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away.
Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes.
My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me.
I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people.
That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside.
As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...
I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....
In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe.
I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in.
I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later.
The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other.
I am like the dead knot in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes.
I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.
The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her.
He stared back at me, challenging me.
I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death.
I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.
That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.

He did not come home anymore after that.
Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.
I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished.
I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination.
My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not..
I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death. One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room.
The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke.
On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper.
I know what it is all about without even looking at it.
In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself.
I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign."
He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.

As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..."
My eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there.
After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy.
I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me.
Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him.
"LD, are you pregnant?"
Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me.
I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops.
I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."
He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other.
Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket.
In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me.
I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't.
In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart.
For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional.
I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.

Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart,
I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him.
From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.
Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room.
He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room.
At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet.
This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh.
He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us?
Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read.
Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full.
I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.
He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.
It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment.
He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital.
Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite.
Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind:
In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain.
Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling.
I reached out and touched his hand.
Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor.
I cried out for him in pain...
He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his...
I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.
Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long.
I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer.
Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."

I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.
Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that...
the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:
"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now...
I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be.
But daddy now no longer has that chance.
Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....

Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey.
To be honest, daddy is very happy.
Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."
From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me:

"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...
My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...
These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma.
I brought our son over and place him beside him.
I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your
arms..."
He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile.
Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air.
I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face....
A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...

Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family.
Our originals intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late."........

This is a true story.
LEARNING POINT:
DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!

I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next.
It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger!
Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience....
This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge.
People please let’s live a life devoid of grudge.
Communication is key.

Take greatest care and live on..

the one with the first gig experience

2009-05-24T19:04:00.007+08:00

Eddy had performed in a gig yesterday at the Arts House..
and I'm not being biased because he is my boyfriend or anything but he is sooo wonderfully perfect on stage!
(ok ok i AM biased. but whatever!)
He is very engaging and his voice just melts my heart....
The whole band was good too!
They synchronized very well...
Congrats to the wonderful performance, RipTrip!
:D

Poor darling just finished work..

My new found friends, Fathi and Fizah!
Vote for Fizah for the next Anugerah 2009 winner!!!
;))

The first band wasn't that bad... Individually they were awesome..
and they are still so young.

This dude rocked it out!

Him too!

But Riptrip was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better!
hahaha! (bias again.)

That's my baby.
hahahahaha!

sorry all of the pictures are of him.
lol.
ok ok.. I'm not sorry.
:p

I wasn't kidding when I said most of the pictures are of him.
:))

Amir, Naseef, Halif, Eddy and Kit.
Riptrip.

After the show, he was all smiles!

Thanks for coming everyone!

Eddy looks like that because he is controlling himself not to bite my round chubby cheeks.

So yey!
It was a wonderful Saturday!
I met you yesterday... but i still miss you now darling..
*blows kisses*

Psssst. Eddy has FINALLY updated his blog.
Go check it out ya?
ok bye.

the one when he came just in time.

2009-05-24T18:00:00.003+08:00

18 May 2009

Imagine having to spend your birthday in a hospital two years running.
That's where my nephew, Auji, spent the day.

Imagine having a brother for your birthday....
That's what Auji got.
:)
Happy 2nd Birthday, Auji-san!

But everybody..
Meet the new addition to the family.....
Wajdi!
:))

I think he stole his elder brother's thunder.
hehehe!
Welcome to our world, little one.

the one where we start something new.

2009-05-21T15:54:00.002+08:00

I can't promise you the world, but i can try to give you a happy life.
I can't promise you I will never yell, but I can try to be patient most of the time.
I can't promise you I will never make mistakes, but I can try my best to correct them.
I can't promise you I will catch you every time you fall, but I can try to always be close to help you back up.
But in the end, no matter what happens I know in my heart,
I will never stop loving you.....

the one when its a morning voice. :(

2009-05-19T01:53:00.002+08:00

The one when she will always be there

2009-05-19T01:40:00.001+08:00

Thank you for being there always.
Through the times where I lost believe til now.
There wasn't a single second you stop believing in me.
I wanna let you know that I am proud achieving this far,
And I'll bring all of the experiences and tips from you all the way,
To The Top This Time!!

I LOVE YOU DARLING

eddy chua

the one when I miss you pampering me.

2009-05-12T10:41:00.006+08:00

I love it when you massage my feet when I'm tired...
:)

I miss being

heckcaringlyhappywithyouandnotbotheringaboutanythingelseintheworld
becausenomatterwhatcomeswewillstickbyeachother.

the one with the same old me.

2009-05-11T15:55:00.002+08:00

Nowadays I feel so freaking lazy to update my blog because my life has been stagnant.
Nothing new with me.
Still have the same family members. (Like as if we can change family members like that.)
Still with the old job.
Still with the boyfriend. (Not that I want a new one. hehehehe!)
Still hang out with the same people.
Still me.

Still here.
How normal.

the one when I'm obsessed with the kilos.

2009-05-06T22:31:00.002+08:00

I seriously need to lose weight.

the one with the stupid joke.

2009-05-05T16:56:00.003+08:00

Girlfriend says: One kiss and I'll be yours forever .
Boyfriend replies: Thanks for the early warning.

the one when I turned a year older.

2009-05-01T22:48:00.010+08:00

You drive me crazy half the time
The other half I'm only trying to
Let you know that what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you...

I took the day off on my birthday.
=D Eddy too.
He fetched me from my home and we went to raffles for our spa!
:))
The spa massage was soooooooo sooooo good!
We had the couple room so Eddy got his massage right beside me.
:))
Eddy was sooooo comfortable I can actually hear him snore!
=p
after the hour long massage, the masseuse scrubbed us down and we went to the steam room.
I thought my whole skin would fall off from my body!
It was really hot in there and I was pacing in the room trying not to think about the hotness.
Eddy was really enjoying the steam though.
He seemed more at ease.
-___-
After we bathed, we went for a facial.
That was actually the first time we had a facial. Ever.
and boy, did it hurt!
I was tearing up when the beautician poked my face with her dunno what!
my gosh....
I will never in my life go for a facial again!
tsktsktsk!

The whole experience was fruitful and truly enjoyable...
It was double the joy when Eddy got to enjoy it with me.
:)
Thanks for the spa, my love!

The whole spa and facial took 3 hours and by the end of it all, we were really hungry.

The food at 18 chefs was deelish!
We had the salmon baked pasta with creamy mango sauce and root beer battered fish and chips!
The portions were all really huge so we managed to eat only 3/4 of it.
After lunch, we hung out at Eddy's house before heading for Botanical gardens for dinner.
:))
I love your mum, love!
She is soooo terribly sweet la!
Eddy told her we wanted to take a picture with her...
She keep saying no need no need but then she properly wore her head scarf and wore make up!
and we just wanted to take pictures at home!
hehhehehe.
*muahks*

Her cute lil sister, Natasha, is taller than me la!
She also just celebrated her birthday.
Aries babies, her and I.

The love.

The appetizer.

The main course.

The main course.

The dessert.

The gifts.

Yey! Just what I told him I wanted.
:D

This is sooooo beautiful right!! and it even has my name on it.
:D

Love.

Before we started to eat,
he gave me 6 romantic love letters.

Before we cut the cake,
Eddy made me watch my birthday video..
He sang the song that he made especially for me.
:))

I had a wooooonderful birthday!
which in a way suck coz how can I compare with that for his birthday??
Now i'm clueless on what to do...
thanks for everything, my love.
You're my missing piece too.
:)
love you...

The one with work changes again!

2009-04-30T16:59:00.002+08:00

By next Monday, I'm moving to a new workstation.
I'm gonna miss my old workstation because I will be sitting next to a clown in my new workstation.
and you all know that I HATE clowns.
=___=
I'm all packed now.
Changes are happening at work all too quickly...
New work function.
New branch.
New colleagues.
New shit.
New assholes.
New ass lickers.
No damn time to adapt at all.
stooopid management!

Last year, I can honestly say I had done ALOT of things.
It will all be in vain now because it was announced that we should expect lesser bonus and increments.
So what will i be doing new this year?
Let's just say that I won't be repeating my mistakes last year.
lesson learnt.

I admit. I can be a little bit unfair. =p

2009-04-28T16:40:00.000+08:00

You Mostly Fight Fair

When you fight, you tend to remember your end goal of resolving conflict.

However, you can get a little too wrapped up in your own feelings.

Remember that there are two sides to every argument.

And even if you think you're totally right, you should take more time to hear your partner out.

Do You Fight Fair?

The one with the pre- birthday celebration!

2009-04-27T20:33:00.023+08:00

18 Apr 2009

It was supposed to be just Eddy and me in Sentosa from morning until night.
I had 2 corporate passes and I planned to do everything there.
EVERYTHING.
but.
Eddy decided to plant a bomb on me.
"Honey, at 3.30pm we need to get out of sentosa alright? I've planned something for you."
"But I thought you said we can spend the whole time here? I want to watch the sunset with you here!"
"I already planned something for you... We come here another time ok?"
"But we came here at 2pm and you want to go at 3.30pm? You promised we could spend the whole day here?? It's not everytime we come Sentosa ok? Why can't you postpone the thing! How could you do this to me? You promised!!!"
By now, Eddy was freaking pissed and we were arguing in Sentosa!
IN SENTOSA!
We made Gelora the Movie right in Sentosa ok.
After the movie was over (=___=),
we did the rides and ate lunch..
Eddy promised we would come there again.

It made sense that we were freaking cranky because it was freaking hot!

Guess who won the luge ride??

Obviously it was me. Eddy was too fixed on smiling for the camera!!

another thing you don't know about Eddy. He is afraid of heights!

The 4D magix was the bomb! It was super cool!

This ride is super idiotic la. I will not recommend ANYONE to play this one!!

It is a shooting game. So you need to shoot on target.
I was apparently the worst shooter for the whole game.
and they idiotically replaced my picture that is in last place with a donkey! Ass.

Eddy was the best shooter for all the rounds and he recieve a golden sticker.
He even used my pistol to help me gain some points.
but still... I was second to last.
and he still won first place.
=__=

I really hate the game.
REALLY REALLY.

After we played the rides, Eddy dragged me out of Sentosa and blindfold me.
We get into a cab and.........

muke pakse.

Ta-dah! I received a story book!

And it is one of my favourite stories! Lord of the Rings.
(the handwriting looks soooo familiar...)

Eddy made me read it out loud.
At first I thought it was just a story book that he had hand-written...
But it turned out to be something more!

Hahahaha... Soo cute right my bf pic?

Every chapter of the book, there was a gift for me.
I only need to find it.
But it wasn't that hard to find because every 'pit stop' was a pink rose waiting for me.
The first chapter, I got a coooool-to-the-max mask!
=D

Eddy has one too!
so kepo!

The second chapter I received a necklace!
With Eddy's pic and me!
Soooooo pretty....

The third chapter I received Famous Amos cookies!
by this time I was already hungry and I keep whining and whining to Eddy that I'm hungry...
In addition, mosquitoes were biting me all over the place ok!

The forth chapter I received a bouquet of FLOWERS!
and it's a sunflower!!
Inside the guess dust bag was all the roses for every pitstop!
:)

Now I found out who was actually behind that whole evening...

Aini the mastermind la!!!
:))
So sweet.
*hugs*
and Fuzzy wuzzy and Eddy baby were her accomplices.

and instead of me having to throw the ring in the pit of dunno what, I received a ring in the final chapter!!
:))
Thanks love!

Dinner was already set!

It's Pastamania in Mordor. Hehehehe!

They are the best couple I could ever go out with.
Really Really.

My gorgeous twin and me.
Can you believe that Aini actually wanted to give me the BOTAK sunflower?
=_=

One satisfied birthday girl

His smile always astounds me..

We went to Holland Village to indulge in Ice cream!

We played taboo!

and the girls lost this time around... after sudden death!
It was soooo close!

I'm still happy anyway...

The night ended with Eddy and I in West Coast Park...
snuggling.

:)

tell me what could be better than that?
Thanks darlings.
You guys are soo precious!
Love you!!!

the one with the advanced birthday surprise!

2009-04-19T17:24:00.003+08:00

18 April 2009
I feel soooo loved!
Thanks Aini...
Thanks Fazli!
Thanks you.
more updates on this woooonderful day when I have all the pictures!
Loove you guys....
:)))